A Little Something Different

Prepare to be totally unimpressed by the following recipe. I just hope it will be useful to some of you.

As an activist this is my number one go to recipe and something I can say I’ve made more times than I care to remember. This cake serves a really important purpose. It’s a quick, easy, cheap, no frills cake that can feed and satisfy large groups of tired, stressed out and overworked activists. This is the cake I take with me to meetings, demos and incredibly long uncomfortable journeys that many of us have to give up our time for because the world is full of annoying Bellend’s who need to be wound up on occasion and told what’s what.

This cake doesn’t get taken along to impress, that’s not it’s purpose. If you want to show off, try making these. It’s there because although you’re surrounded by great people and you’re doing something amazing, you’re most likely cold/wet/shattered/sleep deprived and at the end of it all you just need some goddamn cake. Nothing fancy, just a bloody good sponge and shitload of icing slapped on top.

I love this cake. This cake has been there for me when I’ve needed it most and the smiles it’s given other activists makes me love it even more. This cake has attitude. Just look at it!

Did you see that? Not impressed are you? Looks a bit shit, right? Well fuck you. Fuck you all. This cake doesn’t need compliments.

Simple ‘I Couldn’t Give a Shit’ Chocolate Cake

  • 1 1/4 cups plain flour
  • 1 cup of sugar
  • 1/3 cup cocoa
  • 1 tsp bicarbonate of soda
  • 1/2 tsp salt
  • 1 tsp vanilla extract
  • 1 tsp chocolate extract (optional)*
  • 1 cup of warm water
  • 1/3 cup vegetable oil
  • 1 tsp cider vinegar
  1. Preheat the oven to 180C and grease a sandwich tin
  2. In a large mixing bowl, mix together the dry ingredients. NO SIFTING. Seriously, this is not the kind of cake that wants a fuss.
  3. Then stir in all the wet ingredients, except for the cider vinegar.
  4. When everything is nicely incorporated, add the cider vinegar and mix it in fairly quickly. You want to get this in the oven asap after you’ve added the vinegar, as it reacts with the bicarb as soon as it hits the mix.
  5. Shove that cake in the oven and bake it for 20-25 minutes. Leave to cool before icing.
You can pretty much use any icing or buttercream topping on this beast. I’ll give the ingredients for the last one I whipped up… 
  • 1/2 cup soya butter
  • 1/2 cup trex vegetable fat
  • 3 cups icing sugar
  • 1/2 large bar of chocolate, melted
  • splash of soya milk
  • dash of vanilla and chocolate extracts (optional)
I think adding melted chocolate really added a great flavour to it. I’d say, put more effort into the frosting, because the base of the cake doesn’t need to wow, it just needs to be a stable base for the sugar rush you’re about to throw at everyone. 
Fuck it, if you’ve got them, sprinkle on a few decorations, doesn’t matter how shit it looks at the end, it will still be appreciated and ultimately, that’s what cake is all about, right?
* the chocolate extract is optional, I just happened to get a large quantity of the stuff cheap and it adds that bit extra to chocolate cakes.
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