I was desperately trying to hold this post back for a little while but I can’t keep something this brilliant from you any longer. It’s time I present to you my absolute favourite Bizarre and Outdated cookbook; Snacks & Canapes.
They say “never judge a book by its cover”. So when a friend of mine at work passed this on to me, I resisted the tickles creeping up my throat and held back the initial urge to laugh until I cried…and you know what? I learnt a valuable lesson. After flicking through the pages of this book I discovered that it was even more ridiculous and weird than the cover makes out to be. Obviously as soon as I learnt this lesson, I was howling with laughter. This book is just odd. It’s basically instructions on how to make ugly, outrageous food in a really complex and confusing way whilst giving the impression that doing so makes you really talented and classy.
Well, I like to think that I’m both talented and classy. I also like a good challenge. So today I am presenting you with
A Sculpted Mould Fancifully Garnished
Yes, that is genuinely the name of this dish.
- 1 packet of Mozzerisella
- 2 packets of Creamy Risella cream cheese
- 1 packet Vegusto piquant
- 1 packet Cheezly mild cheddar
- 1/2 cup soya butter
- Black pepper
- 1 large bunch parsley, minced
- 1 cup ground almonds
- Empty the cream cheese and mozzarisella into a bowl and mash with a fork until smooth.
- Either grate or put the cheezly and vegusto through the grating blade of a food processor.
- Mix into the soft cheese mixture.
- Add the butter and knead the mix together. Grind in some black pepper and mix well.
5. Next using a wooden board or a cake board, slap on some of the mixture and mash it down to the edges. Keep adding more mix and use a spoon or a knife to sculpt it into the shape of the board it’s on. Refrigerate for a few hours until firm.
6. When the sculpture is firm, cut out 4 triangles with greaseproof paper so that you can divide the mould into segments for ground almonds and parsley. Also cut out some rectangles to go under the triangles on the sides of the sculpture.
7. Press the chopped parsley onto the uncovered segments of the mould. Make sure you press it in quite firmly so it doesn’t just blow off.
8. Peel off the parchment and press the ground almonds on the remaining segments. Keep refrigerated until it’s ready to serve.
Serve with crackers
I took my sculpted mound to a vegan BBQ meet up and it went down really well! I was worried that people were going to mock me but they seemed genuinely impressed by its appearance. This confused me but I went along with it. I was a little nervous to try it but actually it was really really tasty. I don’t know why I was scared, it’s pretty much all my favourite vegan cheeses mixed into one massive lump!
I probably would make the mixture again but would rather serve it as a dip or a spread. 1) so I could make smaller amounts as a hell of a lot of expensive cheese went into this and 2) because I just don’t want to spend my precious time sculpting cheese.
Never thought I’d have to say that in my vegan lifetime.
Considering how much of a success this was, I don’t think this will be the last we’ll be seeing of Snacks and Canapes!
Speaking of successes, check out Vanishing Veggie’s Chickpea Corn Salad!