Shit Sandwich Life Update

Sorry folks, it’s been over a month since I posted last. It’s been a pretty horrible month, but a few good things have been going on.

First great thing? I have a new header image for this blog!


My lovely pal Roisin has been working on this for me for a while. I’ve been way too excited about it and it was really hard not to tell you what was coming. I’m super lucky to have friends who don’t run away when I ask them to draw me Arnie holding a banana in trans flag colours. Roisin basically managed to draw exactly what I imagined. I love it! Do you like it? Want to see more of Roisin’s work? Head over to her instagram page.

I guess I should make this post a shit sandwich and stick all the bad stuff right in the middle here and finish off with something positive…

So the worst thing? Aidah is a very poorly cat at the moment. She’s always been an old lady and pretty frail ever since we adopted her. We’ve never seen her at a normal weight because she was emaciated when she arrived and only gained so much weight while with us. The last month or so she’s been displaying even more old lady behaviour. She’s not been cleaning herself very well, she sleeps a lot more, she’s been stepping in her own mess in the litter tray etc.


We were woken up at 2.30am last Thursday morning by a massive crash at our bed. It sounded like someone had broken in. I turned on the light and we found Aidah having a seizure at the foot of our bed. It lasted around 3 minutes, but felt like a lot longer. I thought her organs were shutting down and she was dying. It was horrible, there was nothing we could do but stroke her until it stopped. I couldn’t believe it when she tried to stand up afterwards. She was wobbly and confused, so we brought her into bed with us and I watched her until morning came round and I could ring the vet.

Hours of waiting, lots of tears, antibiotic injections and a blood test later, we still don’t know what caused the seizure. We’re waiting on a blood test for her thyroid in the hope we can get some weight back on her, but none of it really points to a seizure. This likely means that there’s a problem with her brain. We’ve been advised against doing a brain scan as there’s no way they would operate on her anyway and as she’s uninsurable it would cost £1000 for the scan alone. It feels like we’re just going to have to keep monitoring her and if she continues to have seizures or other symptoms we’ll just have weigh up her quality of life and decide if we need to let her go.

She has perked up since, so I think she may have had a mild infection that the antibiotics are helping with. Plus she’s loving all the extra treats and attention. I’m trying to keep her as happy and comfortable as possible. I just hope that she doesn’t die in the state she was in last Thursday, especially if we’re not there for her when it happens. I don’t even want to think about that.

I mentioned I was struggling mental health wise in my last post and it’s only really gone downhill from there. I’m constantly stressing myself out with everyday work/life stuff and trying to navigate trans healthcare here in the UK. It’s such an unfair and frustrating process and I’m exhausted with all of the hurdles that crop up at every stage of my transition. It feels hopeless, so much energy is spent dealing with all this crap that I’ve not been motivated to do much else but crawl into the safety of my bed. On a positive note, the Aidah situation has pushed me to get out of my bed funk and I finally caved and asked to have my antidepressant dosage upped.

To finish off my shit sandwich, I had my good friend Helen from London, who I used to lodge with, come to visit last weekend. It was a really nice weekend showing her all the tasty vegan places to eat. I also finally got myself down to The Pasta Factory to try some of their amazing fresh vegan pastas, homemade vegan cheeses and Italian desserts – keep your eyes peeled, I’ll be blogging about this in detail soon!

We also went to the Vintage Home Show at Victoria baths to find some more orange delights from the 1970s. I am now the proud owner of this amazing Picnic Set!

Look at that, 4 individual trays with different compartments…and best of all? There are plastic lids to cover each compartment so it doesn’t slop everywhere. How practical! I love the 70s! I also managed to get myself a bright orange bread bin, a bright orange bedside lamp and the Crystal Maze board game. It was probably the best vintage haul I’ve ever come back with.

I have also been to Berlin in the last month but due to bad planning I’ll be back there in a few weeks, so I won’t go into details now. I also have another good friend from London coming to visit this coming weekend, so I’m sure we’ll get up to all kinds of shenanigans I can update with.

For now, that’s about it. Hopefully next time I can report back with happier news.


10 thoughts on “Shit Sandwich Life Update

  1. I am such a chump I thought you were going to post about a sandwich. Sending lots of positive vibes your way, and Aidah’s way. She is lucky to have you guys looking out for her x


  2. I hope the dosage increase helps and navigating the trans health care gets easier and sweet Aidah, what a seriously shitty sandwich but your Terminator header is on point! Definitively christen that picnic set with friends, keep clearing those hurdles xo

    Liked by 1 person

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